Burnt Cookies

Don't be fooled by the title of this post. I wish it were about cookies...and all things sweet and good. I really do wish it was but maybe another day. This post is about something a little more important than chocolate chip cookies (or whichever you prefer). It’s rather about bullying, specifically my experience with bullying. Now you may ask, what does burnt cookies have to do with bullying? Well, it was my nickname. Yes I know! Absolutely ridiculous isn't it? And no, I did not send burnt cookies to share at school. I was nicknamed "burnt cookies" because of my skin color.

"Burnt Cookies", quite original I might say. At 10/11 years old (I'm not so sure how old I was), I was beginning my journey into teen hood and being teased about my looks wasn't exactly a confidence booster. I mean being told you are as dark as night? It kinda hurts. I became very self conscious about the way I looked and as young I was, in a new country, with none of my child hood friends to laugh off the bullies with, it was a pretty rough situation for me.

But that wasn't the end of it. My thick accent, at the time, was a constant call for snickers and it sure didn't help that my English teacher loved to have me read for the class. Not cool! But honestly who would have thought that I would have to endure this in a school where 98% of persons enrolled were African-Americans? Being constantly picked on because I was "African"? Oh the irony! Can you imagine the naiveté? The constant barrage of questions such as "Do your people even know what soap or deodorant is?" Ha! "My people"? Am I being asked this by AFRICAN-Americans?

It seems they had forgotten who they were, their history, and their ancestry but who was I to burst their bubble. However in hindsight, I do wish I had said more. Especially to the person who asked me of "my people's" awareness of soap and deodorant. I remember to this day the word I wished I had said, "We have everything except for stupid idiots like you." Don't judge, I was only in 5th grade!

My short five months in that school was enough to leave emotional scars to last a life time and I won't be cliché and write that I've learned to overcome all of my inner demons from that time of my life because I have not. I still carry the insecurities today, and I'm still battling them with the help of new friends and a change of environment.

So many fail to understand how much their words and actions impact others. They fail to acknowledge the distress it may cause others, not just at the moment of the incident but months, even years after. The victims also fail to take action, like myself, out of fear or other reasons which promotes the continuity of emotional or physical abuse from peers. I've come to learn that it’s important to speak up. Confidence intimidates even the toughest of individuals and it can save your life as it has mine. I spoke up and I got rid of the bullies and although I’m still in recovery, it has still boosted my confidence to know that I can stand up for myself with my burnt cookie skin and all.

Let me know of your experiences with bullying down in the comments.

More ways to respond to bullying.