Where have I been?

Sorry guys. I have been missing for the past however many months but I have a good reason. Ummm....yeaaaa no I don't. I know, I know. What a shame! Well I'm back..(at least I think I'm back). Only this time at a new web address. You're probably wondering why this change? Well, I am someone who is for visually aesthetic images and I have found that my blog isn't how I imagined when I first started. It's a bit boring, non? So I found a new blogging site that gives me a wide array of BEAUTIFUL themes. I am super excited for this new blog and I hope that I actually don't flake on this one too. I hope to see you guys there!

My new website!!!!!!

The Older You Get, The Wiser You Become

Do you really become wiser as you age? I have heard this saying more times than I could count and I have grown up believing in those words. However, I have now come to doubt this saying as I have not seen it necessarily come into play in my life. I have instead seen people become more stubborn and uncompromising as they grow. I mean honestly. As we move from middle to high school, we become more thirsty for independence and as our thirst grows we begin to break rules we think should not pertain to us. Most often, our decisions are reckless and stupid because we feel that we are old enough to decide on what happens in our life. We brush aside advice and become defensive when our faults are pointed out. We yearn for the day we are able to move out and not have parents nagging and watching our every move. In our push for independence and rush to grow, we fail to just take our time and bask in our youth and so we make decisions that are stupider and stupider as the days go with no consideration of the consequences.

What I have witnessed in adults is almost similar and sometimes worse than the mistake we teens make in our lives. They believe that their years make them more knowledgeable than we the youth, and that belief is toxic. I don't think I'm the only teen to be shut down when talking about a subject in the midst of adults because they believe that what I have to say is irrelevant. Yes, we may be young but we are not stupid. The younger generation is always looked down on because the older generation do not see the sense in all that we do. This mindset makes it impossible for them to see the contribution that we can make and are making to society. This mindset also makes many adults reluctant to also admit that they are wrong especially to a younger person. Pride always comes into play and it inhibits growth as a person. The feelings of we the younger generation are never considered because adults feel they know best and sometimes their decisions leave lasting and sometimes damaging effects on our psyche.

So do we really become wiser as we age? Or do we become dumber, hard-headed, and stubborn?

I say the latter.

Yes, we do go through a lot more as we grow. We face more obstacles and have experiences that shape us. However, those experiences become pointless if we do not truly reflect and understand that it cannot be used as a shield and weapon to defend your actions. We should rather keep those experiences in mind and accept the input of others in our life. Its OK to admit being wrong and its OK to accept advice. It just goes to show true growth and maturity in a person.  So I say...

The More Understanding You Are, The Wiser You Become.

Morning Walks

For the past couple of days, my mom and I have been going for walks in this beautiful park down our street every morning and I absolutely love it there! It is quite a peaceful place I think, and it is a perfect setting for just talking about life and enjoying the moment. I have found that it is a great way to kick start my day as I absolutely HATE working out. It keeps me healthy-ish and it is just a calming experience walking through the trees and feeling the cool breeze of the wind on my constantly sweaty body ( I have issues). If you are need of some mother-daughter time, I would definitely recommend that you go out for a walk in a beautiful park. Its is calm, quiet and  free of outside distractions and you can have a lovely heart to heart moment with your mother. You could always just go out on your own if you simply want some alone time.

I just had to take this picture!
 My henna looked pretty cool against those gorgeous daisies and I just had to show it off.

For some reason this tree reminded of a little dwarf home.  

More daisies...

These are a few of the pictures I took. 

I hope you do find time to go out and explore nature with family, friends or even just alone. Its a fun experience and you also get to squeeze in a workout without even thinking about it ( You will not believe how steep some of the pathways are. Well it is not really that steep but I am an unhealthy girl so anything that takes effort and energy just tires me).

Have a fun summer and a bientôt!

A Narrative Poem

I found this poem on my computer a couple nights ago (completely forgotten about). It was written for my Honors English class and I wanted to share it with you all since I'm unable to publish a new post today due to my busy schedule this week. I admit, it's a terrible way to start off the new month but it had to be done. I will hopefully be publishing a new post next week.
It is a bit repetitive but hey I'm the farthest thing from being a poet.
 Enjoy! :)

WHERE DO I BELONG?
I lay in bed, eyes to the ceiling

My heart is burdened, with a feeling

Remembered and thought for so long

Where do I belong?

My heart screams Africa

My surroundings say America

My mother says, “Not for long.”

Where do I belong?

I travel back to Africa

My homeland, to Ahumka

But I’ve been away for so long

Where do I belong?

I try to speak my native tongue

They stare, “Am I speaking tongues?”

They laugh, “She sounds so wrong.”

Where do I belong?

I speak in English apparently with an accent

They laugh out loud, making a racket

I stop talking, “What am I doing wrong?”

Where do I belong?

My Auntie makes jokes, “Obroni.”

My cousins just laugh, “Adɛin neɛ?”

I understand, I’ve been away for long

So now, where do I belong?

I try to believe, convince myself

I’m not affected by these jokes, False!

I realize, this year is going to be long

Where do belong?

Finally, my year is up

I think to myself, things are going to look up

I guess I forgot, I realized I was wrong

Where do I belong?

I return to America

I won’t lie, I do miss Africa

Yet I think, a year was too long

Where do I belong?

I go back to school

I’m excited, this is cool

Little did I know, it wouldn’t last for long

Where do I belong?

I open my mouth to speak

They make a face, does my mouth reek?

No it doesn’t, I just sound wrong

Where do I belong?

They say, “You have an accent.”

I say, “ I know I have an accent.”

I can’t wait till I’m gone

Where do I belong?

Now I’m here 

Now I’m near

So close to be on my own and strong

Where do I belong?

I may have an accent

But what does it matter?

It makes me unique

Wouldn’t you want an antique?

I belong in my own world

I don’t need to be anybody else

Because I now know

I’ve belonged, all along.

Ahumka: Peace

Obroni: Slang for an American or “White man”

Adɛin neɛ? : What is this?

Jack is Back!

Yay! JacksGap is back up and running! Now, if you do not know JacksGap then what have you been doing with your life????? Well, JacksGap is a YouTube channel run by two (might I say gorgeous) British twins. They go by the names Jack Harries and Finn Harries and they've been a part of the YouTube community since June 2011. The channel was created by Jack as a sort of project during his gap year. He later introduced his twin to the channel and has since has created a viewership of over 3 million subscribers. 

So you are probably wondering, "What does JacksGap have to do anything?” Jack has been a great influence to me, both creatively and inspirationally. He has produced great content over the years and has been a sort of inspiration for my decision to be more open with my creative side. 

Jack was recently involved in The Rickshaw Run, a 3,500 km (about 2,174 miles for us Americans) pan-Indian adventure for charity. He participated in this event with his brother, Finn, as well as friends namely, Harry Crowder, Louis Cole (a fellow youtuber), Ben Brown, Max Cantellow, and Will Darbyshire. This adventure was recorded as a 4 part video and was uploaded to the JacksGap channel. After the final video of The Rickshaw Run was put up, Jack seemingly disappeared from YouTube with no uploads for over 3 months. Until yesterday!

Jack uploaded a video explaining why he had been MIA on YouTube for a while now. I don't want to go into the details but he did mention something that resonated with me. He had a feeling of self doubt and lack of confidence in his own creative abilities which is something that I go through myself (I briefly touched on this in my previous post). I guess hearing him say that made me feel much better. I realized that the feeling of your work not being good enough is universal and that it is essential to overcome those feelings in order for you to grow into your own skin.

Check out Jack's new video as well as The Rickshaw Run series. Links are down below!

The Struggle: Writer's Block

I have currently been staring at my computer screen for about 4 hours now and I am drawing up a complete blank. There are so many topics swirling through the jumbled mess that I call a brain making it seemingly impossible for me to write ANYTHING. I've gone through about 12 different topics that I want to write about. Each topic seems very interesting but the moment I attempt to type, my fingers hover uncertainly over my keyboard. I type two sentences and quickly delete it, absolutely horrified. My screen returns to an empty white page with the bright orange 'publish' sign ridiculing me and I quickly realize why my ability to write is currently lackluster.
Pressure.
 I am forcing myself to write instead of just letting myself write and attempting to produce content that does not depict who I am. Instead, I'm taking myself too seriously and pressuring myself to write what I think will attract more readers. But then what’s the fun in that? I want to please others with my writing, but what about me? I know that by writing posts just for the purpose of gaining readers, I will be subjecting myself to producing work that is devoid of soul and I am certainly not going down that path. So, I am taking a deep breath and starting over again. I’m going back to the basics by creating and developing ideas that appeals to me and allows for me to write without second-guessing the topic and content. This may sometimes mean a week without a new post but its necessary in order for me to write good and creative works.

Do you ever get writer's block? And if you do what does it usually stem from? Let me know down in the comments.

Burnt Cookies

Don't be fooled by the title of this post. I wish it were about cookies...and all things sweet and good. I really do wish it was but maybe another day. This post is about something a little more important than chocolate chip cookies (or whichever you prefer). It’s rather about bullying, specifically my experience with bullying. Now you may ask, what does burnt cookies have to do with bullying? Well, it was my nickname. Yes I know! Absolutely ridiculous isn't it? And no, I did not send burnt cookies to share at school. I was nicknamed "burnt cookies" because of my skin color.

"Burnt Cookies", quite original I might say. At 10/11 years old (I'm not so sure how old I was), I was beginning my journey into teen hood and being teased about my looks wasn't exactly a confidence booster. I mean being told you are as dark as night? It kinda hurts. I became very self conscious about the way I looked and as young I was, in a new country, with none of my child hood friends to laugh off the bullies with, it was a pretty rough situation for me.

But that wasn't the end of it. My thick accent, at the time, was a constant call for snickers and it sure didn't help that my English teacher loved to have me read for the class. Not cool! But honestly who would have thought that I would have to endure this in a school where 98% of persons enrolled were African-Americans? Being constantly picked on because I was "African"? Oh the irony! Can you imagine the naiveté? The constant barrage of questions such as "Do your people even know what soap or deodorant is?" Ha! "My people"? Am I being asked this by AFRICAN-Americans?

It seems they had forgotten who they were, their history, and their ancestry but who was I to burst their bubble. However in hindsight, I do wish I had said more. Especially to the person who asked me of "my people's" awareness of soap and deodorant. I remember to this day the word I wished I had said, "We have everything except for stupid idiots like you." Don't judge, I was only in 5th grade!

My short five months in that school was enough to leave emotional scars to last a life time and I won't be cliché and write that I've learned to overcome all of my inner demons from that time of my life because I have not. I still carry the insecurities today, and I'm still battling them with the help of new friends and a change of environment.

So many fail to understand how much their words and actions impact others. They fail to acknowledge the distress it may cause others, not just at the moment of the incident but months, even years after. The victims also fail to take action, like myself, out of fear or other reasons which promotes the continuity of emotional or physical abuse from peers. I've come to learn that it’s important to speak up. Confidence intimidates even the toughest of individuals and it can save your life as it has mine. I spoke up and I got rid of the bullies and although I’m still in recovery, it has still boosted my confidence to know that I can stand up for myself with my burnt cookie skin and all.

Let me know of your experiences with bullying down in the comments.

More ways to respond to bullying.