Jack is Back!

Yay! JacksGap is back up and running! Now, if you do not know JacksGap then what have you been doing with your life????? Well, JacksGap is a YouTube channel run by two (might I say gorgeous) British twins. They go by the names Jack Harries and Finn Harries and they've been a part of the YouTube community since June 2011. The channel was created by Jack as a sort of project during his gap year. He later introduced his twin to the channel and has since has created a viewership of over 3 million subscribers. 

So you are probably wondering, "What does JacksGap have to do anything?” Jack has been a great influence to me, both creatively and inspirationally. He has produced great content over the years and has been a sort of inspiration for my decision to be more open with my creative side. 

Jack was recently involved in The Rickshaw Run, a 3,500 km (about 2,174 miles for us Americans) pan-Indian adventure for charity. He participated in this event with his brother, Finn, as well as friends namely, Harry Crowder, Louis Cole (a fellow youtuber), Ben Brown, Max Cantellow, and Will Darbyshire. This adventure was recorded as a 4 part video and was uploaded to the JacksGap channel. After the final video of The Rickshaw Run was put up, Jack seemingly disappeared from YouTube with no uploads for over 3 months. Until yesterday!

Jack uploaded a video explaining why he had been MIA on YouTube for a while now. I don't want to go into the details but he did mention something that resonated with me. He had a feeling of self doubt and lack of confidence in his own creative abilities which is something that I go through myself (I briefly touched on this in my previous post). I guess hearing him say that made me feel much better. I realized that the feeling of your work not being good enough is universal and that it is essential to overcome those feelings in order for you to grow into your own skin.

Check out Jack's new video as well as The Rickshaw Run series. Links are down below!

The Struggle: Writer's Block

I have currently been staring at my computer screen for about 4 hours now and I am drawing up a complete blank. There are so many topics swirling through the jumbled mess that I call a brain making it seemingly impossible for me to write ANYTHING. I've gone through about 12 different topics that I want to write about. Each topic seems very interesting but the moment I attempt to type, my fingers hover uncertainly over my keyboard. I type two sentences and quickly delete it, absolutely horrified. My screen returns to an empty white page with the bright orange 'publish' sign ridiculing me and I quickly realize why my ability to write is currently lackluster.
Pressure.
 I am forcing myself to write instead of just letting myself write and attempting to produce content that does not depict who I am. Instead, I'm taking myself too seriously and pressuring myself to write what I think will attract more readers. But then what’s the fun in that? I want to please others with my writing, but what about me? I know that by writing posts just for the purpose of gaining readers, I will be subjecting myself to producing work that is devoid of soul and I am certainly not going down that path. So, I am taking a deep breath and starting over again. I’m going back to the basics by creating and developing ideas that appeals to me and allows for me to write without second-guessing the topic and content. This may sometimes mean a week without a new post but its necessary in order for me to write good and creative works.

Do you ever get writer's block? And if you do what does it usually stem from? Let me know down in the comments.

Burnt Cookies

Don't be fooled by the title of this post. I wish it were about cookies...and all things sweet and good. I really do wish it was but maybe another day. This post is about something a little more important than chocolate chip cookies (or whichever you prefer). It’s rather about bullying, specifically my experience with bullying. Now you may ask, what does burnt cookies have to do with bullying? Well, it was my nickname. Yes I know! Absolutely ridiculous isn't it? And no, I did not send burnt cookies to share at school. I was nicknamed "burnt cookies" because of my skin color.

"Burnt Cookies", quite original I might say. At 10/11 years old (I'm not so sure how old I was), I was beginning my journey into teen hood and being teased about my looks wasn't exactly a confidence booster. I mean being told you are as dark as night? It kinda hurts. I became very self conscious about the way I looked and as young I was, in a new country, with none of my child hood friends to laugh off the bullies with, it was a pretty rough situation for me.

But that wasn't the end of it. My thick accent, at the time, was a constant call for snickers and it sure didn't help that my English teacher loved to have me read for the class. Not cool! But honestly who would have thought that I would have to endure this in a school where 98% of persons enrolled were African-Americans? Being constantly picked on because I was "African"? Oh the irony! Can you imagine the naiveté? The constant barrage of questions such as "Do your people even know what soap or deodorant is?" Ha! "My people"? Am I being asked this by AFRICAN-Americans?

It seems they had forgotten who they were, their history, and their ancestry but who was I to burst their bubble. However in hindsight, I do wish I had said more. Especially to the person who asked me of "my people's" awareness of soap and deodorant. I remember to this day the word I wished I had said, "We have everything except for stupid idiots like you." Don't judge, I was only in 5th grade!

My short five months in that school was enough to leave emotional scars to last a life time and I won't be cliché and write that I've learned to overcome all of my inner demons from that time of my life because I have not. I still carry the insecurities today, and I'm still battling them with the help of new friends and a change of environment.

So many fail to understand how much their words and actions impact others. They fail to acknowledge the distress it may cause others, not just at the moment of the incident but months, even years after. The victims also fail to take action, like myself, out of fear or other reasons which promotes the continuity of emotional or physical abuse from peers. I've come to learn that it’s important to speak up. Confidence intimidates even the toughest of individuals and it can save your life as it has mine. I spoke up and I got rid of the bullies and although I’m still in recovery, it has still boosted my confidence to know that I can stand up for myself with my burnt cookie skin and all.

Let me know of your experiences with bullying down in the comments.

More ways to respond to bullying.

The Internet

The internet is such a crazy place is it not? Its a place where a young teenage girl can decide on a whim to create a blog. A blog that even she does not fully understand how to manage yet. However, that is the beauty of the web. Its allure has brought about so many great internet icons that many of us internet junkies live by. How are we not to join in? To take advantage of all the opportunities and creative platforms that we have at our disposal? And that's what I plan to do. I am taking advantage of the technology of today and using it as a channel to reach others of the same mind. To connect with the world and to connect with myself more than anything. Thus I conclude my first blog post with a nervous smile, wondering what will come off it. Will it disappear into the black hole of never ending flow of information into the internet? Never to be seen again? Or will it be the beginning of a creative journey for a crazy teenage girl? Only time will tell.